


これカップルはさよなら言うこと！

by BluesideTonight



Category: 30歳まで童貞だと魔法使いになれるらしい | Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?! (Manga)
Genre: 30歳まで童貞だと魔法使いになれるらしい | Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?! - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Magic, Breakup, Character Study, Crying, Guilt, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, I'm so sad, Kurosawa needs a hug, Love, M/M, Not Beta Read, Sorry Not Sorry, mind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:20:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28091553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BluesideTonight/pseuds/BluesideTonight
Summary: Kurosawa and Adachi break up.
Relationships: Adachi Kiyoshi/Kurosawa Yuichi
Comments: 10
Kudos: 28





	これカップルはさよなら言うこと！

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cherry Mahoes Group Chat](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Cherry+Mahoes+Group+Chat).



_What should I do?_ Adachi thought.

_I haven’t really thought about it until now, but probably no one would want all of their inner voices heard._

_Can I keep it a secret as this goes on?_

On and on the thoughts stirred inside Adachi’s mind. It was like he was in stew pop, where the temperature was slowly, yet undoubtedly increasing to boiling point inside, where the contents and liquids were beginning to bubble with increasing ferocity. He hated this feeling. With every fibre within him, he despised this, and he loathed himself for not even thinking, not even considering that to listen into another’s thoughts without consent was intrusive.

_Should I keep this a secret?_ –

Kurosawa’s hand twitched inside the palm of his own hand, maybe at the cool night breeze, maybe at the tension that was becoming more and more palpable with each passing second. – “But Adachi, you had me worried there for a second – for just a moment there, I thought you had read my mind” He his tone indicated light heartedness and his chuckle was soft yet with hints of exasperation, probably at the absurdity of the thought, or rather, the concept of someone reading another’s mind.

_If only he knew,_ pondered Adachi dejectedly, _if only there was a way to say_ –

“ _if my mind was read I…”_ –

Adachi’s eye widened and his heart dropped. Falling down a cliff to his death would bring him less pain than that of the few words that had been transmitted into his head that moment. He instantly recoiled his hand from that of Kurosawa’s and jumped back a few steps, refusing to look at the former out of the guilt that ran rampant and untamed inside of him.

“My...My…where is my phone?” He stammered, hastily feigning to search around him, hastily trying to find something to look a little less guilty and suspicious in the eyes of the one he cared so deeply for.

_That’s right. Even if it is Kurosawa, if he finds out about the magic, we certainly can’t be like this anymore…”_

The few steps he had taken away from Kurosawa became instantly an immovable barrier separating them an arm’s length apart. The lights of the street seemed to have dimmed just a little bit darker and as he drew courage to glance at the one standing to his left, he decided to harness a little bit more of that courage, just a little bit more to speak and come clean.

“Kurosawa?” He began timidly, shamefully. His eyes dropped to his feet and he clenched his hands together so tight that against the cold air of the night they became ghostly pale against the backlight of the street-lamps and signs. Kurosawa sensing Adachi’s mood and eyeing the distance Adachi inflicted between them, blinked slowly, straightened his back and tilted his head slightly to the right.

“Adachi, what’s up?” He spoke. Against the hum of the nightlife going-ons’ around them his voice was soft; well-modulated too, in consideration of the waves of anxiety emitting from Adachi.

At Kurosawa’s words, Adachi began to fidget, ruffle at his hair, and shuffle his feet. Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot. He bumbled like this, clenching and unclenching his hands, tilting his head to and fro. His mental state mimicked his physical, in ten seconds he had opened and closed his mouth fumbling to find the right words, at least some words to form some sort of coherent sentence. One that could explain accurately the situation, one that would bring the least amount of damage.

“Adachi?” Kurosawa asked again. Whilst Adachi was at mental war with himself, Kurosawa had been silently observing on the outside, confused and worried at what had bothered Adachi so much that he had been reduced to such a state. He took a step forward, making a movement to comfort his partner by raising his right hand. But before it could make contact with him, Adachi with an indescribable tone said,

“Don’t! Please…Please don’t touch me. It’s not fair. It’s not fair to you. I am sorry. I am so, so sorry. I am so sorry Kurosawa.”

Kurosawa had moved back, his brows were furrowed and his eyes…..Adachi in speaking, had made contact with them, and he regretted it; he so sorely regretted it. Kurosawa’s brown eyes usually could be seen and described as being sweeter than caramel, warmer than a hot chocolate Adachi would have desperately wanted on such a cold and unforgiving evening, were now not just lined with confusion and worry, but gloomier and darker than the dregs of black tea abandoned at the bottom of a cup. He looked so sad and Adachi in that second had wanted to lie to him again. Tell him that he was just tired and stressed about the stationary design competition. Tell him anything so that he wouldn’t look so forlorn.

“Why are you sorry? What’s wrong? We can fix it together, Adachi. Just let me help. You know I would always support you, right? You do know that, don’t you Adachi?” Kurosawa words were filled with emotion, but his tone was like a beg. Adachi knew that Kurosawa would try and help him with anything. Would try to fix anything if it meant that _he_ would be happy. Again, Adachi tossed up the notion of just lying. But lying? How much longer could he keep it up? How much longer could he now knowingly deceive someone so genuine towards him? Kurosawa would want, strive and persevere to help Adachi with anything, fix anything, solve anything; but even this? This couldn’t be patched up by even Kurosawa. This is something that Adachi would have to navigate himself. Whatever the consequence. 

Adachi blinked slowly and steeled the nerves still rampant within him. He straightened his posture, knocked his knees together and looked Kurosawa straight in the eye.

“You can’t touch me. Not anymore. It is my fault. I should have told you.” He rushed out, looking down after he got those few measly words together. Kurosawa narrowed his eyes. Still, he was confused.

“I don’t –‘’ he began.

“When you touch me, I can hear you. The thoughts in your mind. The things you think about desperately, I can see in my mind too.” Adachi had interrupted him, not wanting the minimal courage he had summoned to wane. Kurosawa’s eyes brows had formed a deep V. _What was Adachi talking about_ seemed to be the expression conveyed.

“The ‘sweet private life’ you had wanted with me. The bar date, the sleeping together, those things you had fantasised about, I saw it all, heard it all too.” Adachi couldn’t bear to look at him, the shame of it all hitting him like tonnes of bricks. Each word he emitted was like one slamming down on his head. It was painful. It was shameful. And he further realised how horrible he was of a person to let it go on and even secretly draw joy from hearing the desires, wants and love of Kurosawa towards him.

“Even…the poem?” Kurosawa vocalised meekly; embarrassment was written across his face in bold ink. Adachi nodded his head in shame. No words were needed here.

“But how?” Kurosawa continued; his pitch was slightly higher. Amidst the embarrassment of it all, he wanted answers, proof; someone being able to hear another’s thoughts is a far-fetched concept, how could it even be possible?

Adachi pursed his lips, “I’m a virgin.” He admitted, slowly looking up at Kurosawa, “A virgin at 30 years old can become a magic user able to hear people’s thoughts at physical contact. I didn’t believe it either. It’s a stupid fable, but…it happened to me. So…”

Kurosawa’s expression then was indescribable, untranslatable. Adachi couldn’t read the expression, so he knew it wasn’t good.

“You knew I liked you then? Always?” Kurosawa responded disconsolately.

“Not always, but yes.” Adachi answered, equally as miserable.

“So then when you touched me tonight, just then, you knew what the surprise was?”

“Yes.” Adachi blinked, he knew where this was going…

“Why did you lie? Why not tell me?”

There it was.

“How could I ever explain this to you, Kurosawa? The right words, the right explanation, how could I ever explain it?” Adachi responded monotonously. Now he was in a dead state of calm. The calm before the storm, it seemed. Kurosawa rubbed his eye and placed his work briefcase down.

“Adachi. That is something that we could’ve worked on. The fact that you were honest, would’ve been enough to me. It would’ve always been enough.” He said exasperatedly. 

“But…”

“There is no ‘buts’ needed, Adachi. I have loved, admired, and looked for the true Adachi for seven years. I have wanted to see all aspects of you, each side, each facet, each flaw, all of it…”

“But…” Adachi said weakly. Tonight, he seemed to not need to use his power, he thought ruefully, the thoughts of Kurosawa had become something he could anticipate.

“You are right Adachi. _But_ ,” he laid emphasis on the word, “Not like this. Never like this. Adachi you didn’t trust me enough to tell me.”

“I know it’s not enough. But I am sorry.”

“Again, you are right. It isn’t enough.” Kurosawa broke eye contact with Adachi and looked to the side, anywhere but at the face of the person in front of him.

“I know. I do know.”

“You know? Why do I now feel like you only told me this because you ‘read my mind’? Why, now, do I feel like you were caught up in the moment and only decided to date me because you pitied me?” Kurosawa said. The hurt was so evident in his tone, that Adachi eyes watered with each word that was let out.

“I-‘’

“Don’t apologise, Adachi. Now that I think on it. It’s really not all your fault. It’s mine. You felt pressured by me, didn’t you? Seven years is a long time to love someone, isn’t it? I would feel pressured too.”

“Kurosawa. I promise you it was never like that. I do. I do, truly, truly like you. I just –‘’

“Don’t. It’s fine. Adachi. I am sorry. It is my fault. You were always shy with me. Is it actually because you felt pressured and uncomfortable with me this whole time?” Kurosawa asked. On his face he wore a smile, a small one. Adachi couldn’t garner why, but even though he had always loved Kurosawa’s smile, longed to see it, wanted to make him smile always; he didn’t want this. Not like this. Kurosawa had turned his body away from Adachi now, and gazed up at the sky. There were no stars to be seen. No moon to view. It was just darkness up there that mirrored that of the state that he was currently in.

“No. I just wasn’t –‘’

“That’s my point.” Kurosawa interrupted. “I am sorry for it. My thoughts, they were too much for you. Maybe, I do wish you had told me, we could’ve worked something out. But still, my thoughts placed pressure on you, to be with me, to be _something_ with me. It shouldn’t have. Consciously, I would never force you, but unconsciously, I did. I am sorry.”

“KUROSAWA.” Adachi yelled. He wanted his attention, he wanted to explain it all away. It wasn’t Kurosawa’s fault. Not to him. It would never be.

Kurosawa was still positioned away and refused, albeit silently, to look at him. Adachi sighed.

“Your feelings are your own. I don’t blame you for them, because they made me realise that I am truly loved, that I could be loved by someone in this way. Because of your love, the me that was small, has changed and grown. Please, please don’t blame yourself.” Adachi was pleading by now and the tears had broken free, were streaming down his face. He walked up to Kurosawa and raised his hand up to his shoulders. But this time, it was he who was rejected.

“Don’t. Let me say this to you. Please.” Kurosawa exclaimed.

Adachi lowered his hand. Looking into the nothingness of the pavement beneath his feet.

“Remember when I told you this was the first time I ever liked someone this much? It was something I truly, honestly, was so _happy_ about. This, with you, brought me immense, immeasurable joy. You heard my thoughts, right? You know this. I know now you do. I didn’t realise that the same amount of joy I felt in loving you, could also express itself and be the same amount of pain too.” Kurosawa said, eyes still glancing at the sky.

Adachi had nothing to say. How could anything be said to that?

“Selfishly, I have told you this and for that, again, I am sorry. Adachi, I am sorry.” This time he turned to look at the person behind him and despite the darkness, the gloom of grief was vastly visible in Kurosawa’s eyes. Adachi was still speechless.

“I am sorry, but I would rather wait eternity in vain then harm or pressure you or force myself on you.” He said this quietly, but with a tone so final that Adachi again, pitifully, stayed silent. The conversation was over and with that Kurosawa turned on his heel, shoulders slumped down with an invisible weight, and walked off in the night. Adachi didn’t chase him, didn’t call after him, just stared bleakly till the figure was invisible to his eyes. Only then did he, too, walk off.

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote this on a whim, because i thought it would be fun.  
> This is my first work, so I am sorry it is bad. I tried.  
> Comments would be appreciated, maybe kudos too? 
> 
> title means: "This couple say goodbye" - but um, i have only done a year in japanese soooooooooooo.  
> follow me on twitter at @shizunyunxi 
> 
> This is dedicated to the Cherry Mahoes GC on twitter.


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